One third down and I wonder how it started to flake off. Group dynamics are a mysterious thing–how did it happen to end up like that? I guess I’m too idealistic for good things to last, but really, I felt real and excited for the first time, even more than in school. Was I too slow to see where it was going? Or had I done something wrong? Either way, it pains me to feel the chill. It was a giant step for me to emerge from the ice, but I feel like retreating again.
I apologise if I was never good enough for everyone, but I’m deeply grateful for the times spent.
Too long since I got the courage to pen this down. I do admit that nothing lasts forever, but to see it potentially ending like that is so galling given the times we spent together and the money we actually spent. It took a while to get used to it since I wasn’t much of a spender, but I am still thankful for accepting me into the fold. It remains puzzling just how I did that.
All I feel is how fate seems to put certain things together. Getting to know you was a stroke of luck– same background and school, making it easier to share what had happened during school days. I need not mention being seated next to each other. I respected how you carried yourself through leadership positions and your vivacity. It was the life that I never had. The conversations we had really made me feel better about life. I may be getting too carried away–trying to get attention is never an easy task for me. But I hope we can get to trust each other more. Let God decide the future! I rarely open myself up except to people I really trust and I’m happy to say that you are one of them. Somehow you were able to pick up certain vibes in me, which I tried not to admit. Thank you for everything.